I feel.... empty...

Yea, I think that's the best word to describe how I feel today. I just feel empty. Sometimes God confuses me and I don't understand a thing. I keep asking the same questions and my prayers will sound like this: "Why, God? How come? Every day I pray for Your guidance and that You will lead me Your way. If You led the way then how come it led to a dead end, a place where dreams were shattered? What are You teaching me? Where do I go from here?" Not a very glorious prayer, I know... but it's honest. I just pour out my heart. I think God wants honest prayers.

Actually I can find similar prayers in the Bible... WHAT? Yes, just read this:
"Why, O LORD, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? Why have you rejected me?"
These are the words of king David (taken from more than one Psalm). Think about that! Even king David asked God those kinds of questions. BUT the great thing is that the Psalms that start with those questions don't end there. Just read this one:

How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

-Psalm 13

Just look at how this Psalm (and many others) develop from beginning to end. David goes from being caught up in the questions and being confused, to praying for understanding and guidance, to praising the Lord and putting his trust in Him. He goes from hopelessness and misery to hope and adoration. That is just awesome!

In time... maybe I'll see the answers to some of my questions, I don't know. Maybe they are unimportant. All I know is that I need to put my trust in God again and again. I need to set my eyes on Him and not myself and my problems and questions. Maybe that is what God is teaching me, that He is bigger than all my problems and disappointments, that He's the one who can be trusted when everything else fails.