This morning I woke up to a song...

and it goes like this: "Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you..." and so on and so forth. Stefán, Hilli and Sólveig woke me up with that song and brought me a very nice birthday gift. I am going with them to the opera tonight! I am very excited :) I also recieved a CD with a collection of Sissel Kyrkebø's songs. Oh and let's not forget the blue plastic fish from "Finding Nemo" (it's an inside joke). Such a nice gift from such nice people.

Today I am 25 years old... That's pretty big, huh? Am I a grown up yet? Mmmm, that's debatable. When I was little I always thought growing up would be really boring and that I would get boring as well. I guess that's what I thought a grown up's life was like - just boring. I was sure I would be married and maybe even have a child by the time I was 25, cause that's how it was with my parents so I just assumed that's how it would go for me as well. I even thought I would be back in Africa already. Funny how things turn out differently.

None of those things have happened, not even the "boring"-part. My life is all but boring, and hopefully I am not boring either. Hahaha! And now a few pictures to finish off my post... let's call it...

"Now And Then"

Here I am about 1 years old

... and 24 years later...

My siblings and I at Christmas, when I was 8.

My siblings and I last Christmas... Did we change at all? :oP

These are my wonderful parents 25 years ago.

And 25 years later :)

Life is beautiful :o) Even with all it's ups and downs... with out the "downs" I don't think we'd appreciate the "ups" as much ;o) We learn to appreciate the beauty of life through everything we go through... At least that is how it is for me.

Hiding behind a smile...

... is something I am pretty good at. Maybe not with my own family, not anymore at least. I have learned not to hide behind my smile around them. With others on the other hand, I will put on my smile and everything might seem just "perfect" or at least good in my life... even when the opposite is true. Why do I hide behind the mask of a smile?
Because I am afraid of making myself vulnerable? Mmmm... yes.
Because I don't want others to know I'm not ok? ... Sometimes.
I'm not saying that I should go around and tell EVERYONE everything about how I'm doing all the time. What goes on in my life is not for everyone to know, but I hope you get what I mean. Many of us hide behind masks of some kind to cover up how we really feel, how things are really going, so that noone will know our pain or our struggles. Maybe it's out of shame. Maybe it's out of pride. Maybe it's because we feel like a failure...

Joy Williams - Hide
From the album Genesis

To anyone who hides behind a smile
To anyone who hold there pain inside
To anyone who thinks they’re not good enough
To anyone who feels unworthy of love
To anyone who ever closed the door
Closed their eyes and locked themselves away

Chorus:
You don’t have to hide
You don’t have to hide anymore
You don’t have to face this on your own
You don’t have to hide anymore

So come out, come out
Come out wherever you are
Anyone who’s trying to cover up their scars
To anyone who’s ever made a big mistake
We’ve all been there so don’t be ashamed
So come out, come out and join the rest of us
You’ve been alone for way to long

Chorus:

And if you feel like no one understands
Come to the one with scars on His hands
Cause He knows where you are and where you’ve been
His scars will heal you if you let Him

Chorus:

You don’t have to…
You don’t have to hide
Come out, come out wherever you are
You don’t have to hide
Come out, come out
Come out wherever you are
You don’t have to hide
You don’t have to…

I've learned how important it is to have someone to talk to about things - both good and bad, happy and sad, mistakes and successes, anything and everything... I am blessed to be able to do that with my family and a few very close friends. Not only that, because sometimes I feel like noone can really understand what I'm trying to say or what's going on. In those situtations I still know there is One who understands.

And if you feel like no one understands
Come to the one with scars on His hands
Cause He knows where you are and where you’ve been
His scars will heal you if you let Him

Better Than I

I thought I did what's right
I thought I had the answer
I thought I chose the surest road
But that road brought me here
So I put up a fight
And told You how to help me
And just when I had given up
The truth is coming clear, for...

You know better Than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
'Cause You know Better Than I

If this has been a test
I cannot see the reason
But maybe knowing, I don't know
Is part of getting thru
I try to do what's best
Find faith has made it easy
To see the best thing I can do
Is put my faith in You, for...

You know better Than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
'Cause You know Better Than I

I saw one cloud, and thought it was the sky
I saw a bird and thought that I could follow
But it was You who tought them to fly
If I let You reach me...
Will You teach me? For...

You know better Than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
I'll take what answers You supply
'Cause You know Better Than I

Somewhere down the road...

This morning as I was feeding the computer again I was listening to music that I have on my computer... some of it I haven't listened to in a long time. One of the songs I noticed especially is a song with Amy Grant that I treasure because it has described how I've felt at certain times in life. It is a nice song and it has comforted me and who knows... Maybe it will comfort someone else :) A good song with good lyrics.

Somewhere Down the Road

So much pain and no good reason why
You've cried until the tears run dry
And nothing else can make you understand
The one thing that you held so dear
Is slipping from your hand
And you say

Why, why, why
Does it go this way
Why, why, why
And all I can say

Somewhere down the road
There'll be answers to the questions
Somewhere down the road
Tho' we cannot see it now
And somewhere down the road
You will find mighty arms reaching for you
And they will hold the answers at the end of the road

Yesterday I thought I'd seen it all
I thought I'd climbed the highest wall
Now I see the learning never ends
And all I know to do is keep on walking
Walking 'round the bend singing

Why, why, why
Does it go this way
Why, why, why
And all I can say

Somewhere down the road
There'll be answers to the questions
Somewhere down the road
Tho' we cannot see it now
And somewhere down the road
You will find mighty arms reaching for you
And they will hold the answers at the end of the road

Time for an update!!!

Man, time just disappears! I have been in Sweden for 1,5 weeks already and really enjoy it. These first few weeks will be full of hard work, feeding information into my computer about all the patients and controls for my study. I am well on the way with that and even a little bit ahead of schedule :) That is always a good feeling.

Today is a very beautiful day and the sun has been shining since this morning. Spring is in the air. Just 2 days ago it snowed for the better part of the day, but as soon as it stopped snowing the sun was out again and melded almost all the snow. No more snow, thank you very much ;oP

Well, I should continue feeding my computer. Just thought I'd take a short break and give a sign of life :) Have a wonderful day!

Sweden is....

GOOOOOOOD!

SPRING IS HERE! That is SWEET! WOHOOO!

Sólveig (my mentor), Hilli and Stefán - the family that I'm staying with - are so nice! I've kinda just been included like one of the family :) Very nice indeed!

The resaearch project is going pretty well. I am gathering information about patients and controls these first weeks and then the REAL show begins... when I work through all that info and write a paper with graphs and fancy stuff like that ;oP I am enjoying it. It's such a nice change from the regular school schedule :)

Allright I'm out! Have a good one!

Sunrise

If I had the chance
To go back again
Take a different road, bear a lighter load
Tell an easy story

I would walk away
With my yesterdays
And I would not trade what is broken for beauty only

Every valley
Every bitter chill
Made me ready to climb back up the hill And find that…

(Chours)
You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?

You’re my horizon
You’re the light of a new dawn
So thank you, thank you
That after the long night, you are sunrise

There’s a moment when
Faith caves in
There’s a time when every soul is certain God is gone

But every shadow is evidence of sun
And every tomorrow holds out hope for us
For every one of us

(Chours)

You alone will shine
You alone can resurrect this heart of mine

(Chours)

You are sunrise

Click here to listen!

SWEDEN HERE I COME!!!

Yep, I am leaving for Sweden in only 2 days, on Friday morning! I am super excited! I will be there until May 24th doing my research project on the 22q11 Deletion Syndrome. I will be staying at my mentor's house. I know her and her family a little bit and I know that my stay with them will be just fantastic. They are so hospitable and nice and I could not ask for anything better :) So the time ahead of me is very exciting in all aspects. I will go to a new place, meet new people and get to work on something I find very interesting! Could I ask for more??? It all looks very promising. Sure it will be challenging and a lot of work with the project, but I will also have an amazing time getting to know new friends and enjoying a Swedish spring :) YAY! I am so happy and I thank God for this oppertunity that He's given me.

Be strong!

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”- Joshua 1:9

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”- Isaiah 55:8-9

This is the world we live in...

When you see pictures like these, what does it do to you? Have you become numb to the pain those pictures depict? Is it "just another sad picture"? Do you stop to think or do you just flip the page and see what sales are going on in the stores or what's on TV for the next few hours? We are so sheltered from the pain - the real pain that's going on all over the world. Sure there is pain in our society too, no doubt about that, but it is still very different. There is so much unnecessary pain in the world!

When I see pictures like these it breaks my heart. It's like a reality check! This IS the world we live in, it's real people and real pain. Children dying of malnutrition, children losing their parents in AIDS. And here I am... worrying about some final I am about to take, stressing out. Then I run into pictures like these and all of a sudden this final of mine seems like such a "meaningless" thing to worry about. I find myself wishing that I could make a difference in these children's lives, that I could somehow give them hope...

Let's not stop at the wishing! Even though we are not there, in the situation with them we CAN make a difference... we don't have to go there to do that. We have money, we have too many clothes, we have... so much to give :)

Walk By Faith

Would I believe you when you would say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Help me to win my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With one breath You make me new
Your grace covers all I do

yeah, yeah , yeah, yeah, yeah, ya

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Well I'm broken, but I still see Your face
Well You've spoken, pouring Your words of grace

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me
...

Click HERE to listen!

In case you haven't noticed God uses music a lot to speak to me :) There are countless occasions where He's met me through music. I often discover or rediscover things about God and have these wonderful "AHA"-moments where I suddenly UNDERSTAND something I've known for a long time. So... this song was one that I needed to hear and it helped me put my focus where it's supposed to be - on God's face and not on my problems. Walking by faith doesn't mean I have to KNOW the next step, it means I have to TRUST in God to lead me even when I feel like I'm blind folded :) I think I can do that. The road I'm on may not be perfect or without bumps, but it IS what prepares His will for me! Does anything else matter? I think not!